Spared
At the mall today
almost lost you
didn't hold your hand
wasn't my weekend
your father
held it tight
so small at four
in the café
bought you juice
Did the man
see you sit
at your table
did you see him
solitary
at his table
next to madness
demons in his head
rifle in his bag
Rambo for a day.
Four minutes
You
get in the car
he shoots a girl
your waitress
who gave you juice
shoots others
coffee in their cups
you
next to your dad
in the car
exit
him
close
in the car park
more shots
Bang
Bang Bang Bang
Bang Bang
Bang
finally
for himself
BANG
Did you hear
The radio reports
seven dead
your father
on the phone
no words
I knew
you were there
four minutes
to spare
“I know now that everything changes, and it’s usually too quickly.”*
Having children reminds us of the changing nature of ourselves and our world. Before children entered my life, years could go by and I would usually have external events to mark them. Now, years are remembered for my children’s birth or ages, and our experiences together. (And the time before the birth of my first child feels like a thousand years ago!). Their growth seems rapid and shockingly sudden – and my time with them is all the more precious for knowing that.
* © from 'Being Mummy' by Anne‑marie Taplin, published April 2007