Adrian’s poem
of Hamish’s birth, 2005

1.75 – HAMISH

A longed for cry
burst our bubble
of fear and what-ifs.

And washed over like us
like a silky sigh
of blessed relief.

1.75 kgs flashed in red
as a machine placed a weight
on the two of us plus joy.

I followed him
into Intensive Care
and my son looked at me!

She was so tired that night
in pain the next day
but we still saw him.

Into Special Care after a day
there for another 3 weeks
almost a month of one's heart being away.

2.00 kgs flashed in red
and we slowly and softly
took him home.

For the first two months
sleep was estranged
but it mattered not.

The life we had
movie, social, couple is gone
but it matters not.

It matters not
for each day he smiles
and envelopes us in him, and love.

Four months and six days
of him breathing our air
and giving us heaven.

1.75 is now 6.00
and he looks like me
and like she.

My life
once divided
is now tripled.

He is here
the world is the greater
he has arrived, and thrived.

Contentment
is his smile.
1.75 - Hamish.

 

© Adrian Gibb

“A gender-equal society would be one where the word ‘gender’ does not exist: where everyone can be themselves.”*

I’ve always been aware of gender conditioning and actively tried to combat any lingering prejudices or stereotypes in my own parenting, even down to encouraging dolls with my boys when they were little. It’s great to read people writing about gender issues they’re experiencing with their kids. For too long these subjects have been discouraged or silenced. I’d love to publish some more creative writing on this topic, especially if you are struggling with a child who actively tries to move away from gender normative preferences. A society where everyone can be themselves thanks Gloria for those aspirational words.

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* Gloria Steinem