
A bowl of kitchen nic-nacs, an arrangement
of dried flowers, a sink of messy dishes
and a child on the floor behind me, scrabbling
around in the plastics of the bottom drawer.
Hoisting himself up to the top drawer,
he reaches a knife, that shining weapon
his parents wield so fearlessly.
A triumph - he has Excalibur in hand.
I hesitate, but he turns up a face
delicate and brittle like the seeds of ‘honesty’
in great transparent rounds of thinnest fibre,
an open disc to read a fragile soul.
I say ta and he hands it over like a treasure
then quickly grabs another. Soon I have a fistful
of knives and forks. I must end this daring game
because he can’t, but seems to know his flight
has reached its peak and, content
kneels down to his plastic bits.
I rearrange the vase of ‘honesty’.
“My patience, resolutions and beliefs are tested to the limits – sometimes daily.”*
Right at this moment one of my challenges is the constant, tuneless whistling from my elder son. When my boys were babies it was getting them to sleep or trying to figure out why they were crying. On any given day now, it might be squabbling, fighting, teasing, screaming, shouting or rudeness. Who’d be a parent? We might well question ourselves after the event, but we can’t very well put them back! Just how we find those inner resources, how we constantly demand more of ourselves, how we keep marching up that hill with a smile on our face and gladness in our heart at the sight of our ‘babies’ is one of life’s mysteries.
* © from Being Mummy by Anne‑marie Taplin published April 2007