Edges of me
When I’m exhausted
the world seems flat
my kids annoying, my husband useless
the day too daunting.
I want to scream “leave me alone!”
and retreat like a bear
to a deep, dark cave
until my wintery mood passes.
My elastic band of love
snaps painfully back as
I think and feel and sometimes say
those things I know are not OK.
And with each passing moment
life offers me the chance to dance and love again
the sun’s warmth, my daughter’s joy
an endless invitation to step out of the void.
Sometimes I fight the fight
that later makes no sense
to stay exhausted, deluded
to show those I love the edges of me I despise.
And sometimes I surprise myself
And emerge from my exhaustion
like a lotus from the mud.
I open to the sun and the
Love that surrounds me
Effortless and Beautiful.
Anything is possible.
“Being at home can be fun, insulating, relaxed, boring or isolating ... depending on how the day is going.”*
School holidays are almost over in my part of the world – six long weeks of noise and squabbling balanced by hot, lazy days at the beach or the pool with lots of daring exploits and laughter. Many of our days were spent at home, basking in simple pleasures like baking, playing games or outdoor pursuits – trying to relax the everyday routines of school-morning bustle and ‘having to be somewhere on time’. However pleasant, I must admit to being relieved that life gets back to normal next week, and I can reclaim some of my own time for writing again!
* From Being Mummy by Anne‑marie Taplin published April 2007